I have a tweenager. And a six year old. Both boys. And man, let me tell you, one of my biggest focuses in their development is self confidence. It’s hard growing up! 

Krista Rizzo is a Certified Transformational Life Coach, Author, Speaker, Video Show Host, Wife & The World's Okayest Mom to two amazing boys.

Our kids are exposed to so much more than we were back in the day. Technology, instant gratification and FOMO are alive and real. Self confidence seems to be a major theme in the parenting community, not just with my clients, but in general. It’s important to remember our kids are in full on brain development, and we cannot expect them to make adult decisions when they’re not ready. The best thing we can do is foster who they are as individuals - not who we think they should be. I find that to be part of the issue when self esteem comes into the conversation - parents are putting too much pressure on their kids to be someone they’re not. The greatest gift we can give our children is
accepting their individuality.

In order for that to happen though, we have to foster and be aware of a few things in our relationships with our kids.
  • First and foremost, communicate. The single most important element in every relationship is communication! It’s hard with kids, especially the tween/teenagers, but it’s vital. We cannot, as parents expect our children to do their best without telling them. And we cannot expect to be open with them if they’re not allowed to ask questions of us. Spend time nurturing your relationship with your children by being honest with them from the beginning. Ask them specific questions that require them to answer with more than one word (I swear, if I hear “fine” one more time I’m gonna lose it!). Be the person they want to come to when they need someone to turn to.
  • Be the motivator in your family. A positive mindset goes a long way. When our kids are taught that they can be anything they want to be, by doing the work, in a positive and uplifting way, that’s going to create an outlook of optimism. Praise them for their strengths and teach them to be grateful for all that they have. Create a home where confidence is displayed among the entire family and it will spill over to your children.
  • Encourage your kids to be who they are. As parents, we see early on the things our children show interest in. In my case, my oldest was drawn to sports basically from the minute he could throw or kick a ball. My youngest loves to draw and sing. Let them be who they are and encourage their growth in their interests. Giving them the feeling of security and support is something they will appreciate and continue to build upon with their own self confidence.
  • Be the example. By this I mean allow them to see an honest reflection of you, the parent. It’s okay for your kids to see you in different stages of feeling. I find that vulnerability brings people together and shows that we’re all human. Often times parents think they have to shelter their kids from certain situations (and of course you do - use your discretion), but in reality, if we’re letting our kids see our own struggles along with our triumphs, they’ll have an easier time relating to it. This results in empowerment for ourselves and our kids. It creates empathy and compassion and hopefully helps in raising kinder more generous humans.
Self confidence is a tricky subject, especially during the times when our children are out of our sight and our control. Trust them to make the right choices because you’re giving them the right tools. By communicating, encouraging and leading by example, our kids will have the ability to create strong levels of self confidence in themselves.

BIO: Krista Rizzo
Krista Rizzo is a Certified Transformational Life Coach, Author, Speaker, Video Show Host, Wife & The World's Okayest Mom to two amazing boys.  Focusing on mindset, communication, balance and empowerment, Krista is obsessed with motivating women and youth by helping them realize their true capabilities. Through her signature coaching and speaking topic "Inspiring Transformation," she will show you how to fully embrace change allowing you to create the life of your dreams.  She's a member of the prestigious Forbes Coaches Council, an active contributor for HuffPost and The Today Show Parenting Website. Krista has been featured in the NY Post, and has guested on multiple podcasts where she has been showcased as a thought leader in her field. http://whyamiyelling.com .

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